The Root of Domestic Violence
- 22"h x 11"w x 7"d
- ©2004 Kate Sartor Hilburn
- about Beating Hearts
The root of domestic violence is not anger, or stress, or alcohol or drugs. The root of domestic violence is control.
He keeps track of you during the day, calling you at work or at home to check on you. He wants to know where you have been if he can't reach you, or if you are late.
He keeps the money, handles the checkbook, pays the bills. You are not allowed to have spending money unless he knows exactly what it is for. He may buy sporting equipment, an entertainment system, or even a four-wheeler or a boat without consulting you, but he would be furious if you bought a new dress without asking him first.
He decides if you will go out, and when. You usually go to the movies he wants to see, and to the events that interest him.
He decides what you will wear. This sometimes means that he will forbid you to wear certain types of clothes, because they are too revealing. But sometimes it means that he will make you wear something that is very sexy or provocative, even if you are uncomfortable doing so.
He decides when you will have sex, whether you are willing or not.